Il y a bien des moyens pour essayer de cerner une personne que l'on ne connait pas. Certains vous diront que la première impression joue beaucoup. Mais sur internet, avant la rencontre, il faut passer par les "profils". J'ai répondu à l'ensemble des questions que j'ai pu trouver dans différents profils trouvés sur le net. Vous trouverez même mon profil style Ardisson.

J'aime / J'aime pas :

J’aime
les cultures asiatiques
les crèpes Nutella Bananes, la bouffe Auvergnate
les chemises blanches, ainsi que les vêtements utilitaires originaux
les gens pas compliqués et souriants
rencontrer des personnes différentes et originales
l'efficacité & la créativité
le calme d'une église (pendant 15 minutes, après ça m'emmerde)
les vins & les whiskies
les sports sans balle ni ballon (escalade, natation-plongée-apnée, roller, course, boxe, escrime, arts martiaux...)

J’aime pas
le zeste d'orange & les fruits confits
les jeux (surtout vidéos)
les mensonges (n'importe lesquels)
les marques en général, Von Dutch, Diesel,... en particulier
Com8 et l'esprit Joey Starr
les gens trop sûrs d'eux
avoir l'impression de perdre mon temps
devoir remarcher sur mes pas ou rebrousser chemin
la jalousie & l'injustice
les fêtes importées ou commerciales (Halloween, fête des pères, fête des grands-mères...)
les principes religieux et le poids de la tradition (par exemple le mariage)
les salles fumeurs & les pourboires obligatoires
ceux qui restent sur la voie de gauche sur l'autoroute

Portrait chinois :

Si j'étais un chiffre, je serais le chiffre quatre (4)
Si j'étais une couleur, je serais vert
Si j'étais un arbre, je serais un bambou
Si j'étais un animal, je serais un dragon ou un tigre
Si j'étais un insecte, je serais une libellule
Si j'étais un oiseau, je serais un faucon
Si j'étais un mot, je serais banzai
Si j'étais un défaut, je serais l'égoisme
Si j'étais un personnage historique, je serais Socrate
Si j'étais un élément, je serais l'eau
Si j'étais une année, je serais 1975
Si j'étais un air, je serais "you're my heart, you're my soul"
Si j'étais un livre, je serais un traité de stratégie
Si j'étais un aliment, je serais des pommes de terre en aligot ou des rigatoni al pesto
Si j'étais un fruit, je serais un khaki
Si j'étais un gâteau, je serais une tarte aux pommes
Si j'étais une glace, je serais un cornetto fraise
Si j'étais une boisson, je serais du Ginger Ale ou du jus de Cranberry
Si j'étais un objet, je serais un couteau
Si j'étais un article, je serais Liberate yourself from classical Karate (de Bruce Lee)
Si j'étais un bruit, je serais le silence
Si j'étais un nombre, je serais 1,618...
Si j'étais un climat, je serais de type méditerrannéen
Si j'étais une saison, je serais le printemps
Si j'étais une ville, je serais Paris... Paris... combien, Paris... tout ce que tu veux...
Si j'étais un endroit du corps, je serais un sourire
Si j'étais un sport, je serais l'escalade ou la natation
Si j'étais un film, je serais un mix entre Opération Dragon & Le Cercle des Poètes Disparus
Si j'étais un héro, je serais Ying Xiong (Hero, avec Jet Li)
Si j'étais un loisir, je serais aussi une passion
Si j'étais un look, je serais look combattant
Si j'étais un parfum, je serais Kenzo pour Hommes
Si j'étais un pays, je serais la France ou l'Italie
Si j'étais un paysage, je serais une maison japonaise surplombant une plage à Hawaii
Si j'étais une pierre, je serais une obsidienne
Si j'étais un phénomène naturel, je serais l'effet Venturi
Si j'étais un plat, je serais un Beijing Kaoya (canard laqué style pékinois)
Si j'étais un roman, je serais un Agatha Christie avec Miss Marple
Si j'étais un véhicule, je serais une Delorean
Si j'étais un vêtement, je serais un pantalon de treillis, ou un haut moletonné sans manches (j'ai un design prêt si tu veux acheter, la vérité !)
Si j'étais une arme, je serais une Griffe G10 de Fred Perrin
Si j'étais une chanson, je serais Les Lacs du Connemara
Si j'étais une coiffure, ce serait 6mm dessus, 3mm sur les bords, tout en restant tolérant
Si j'étais une devise, je serais qui tente rien n'a rien
Si j'étais une fleur, je serais une rose blanche
Si j'étais une légende, je serais Sonezaki Shinju
Si j'étais une maladie, je serais la pneumopathie atypique (SRAS)
Si j'étais une marque de vêtements, je serais ma propre marque... je comprends pas pourquoi acheter la marque d'un autre !
Si j'étais une planète, je serais la Terre
Si j'étais une position, je serais... j'ose pas dire, c'est intime et pis c'est dur à expliquer...
Si j'étais maître du monde, je serais bien emmerdé
Si j'étais un acteur, je serais ridicule

Profil "Modeling-style" :

Guillaume
taille - height : 171cm
poids - weight : 63kg
buste - bust : 90cm
tour de taille - waist : 75cm
hanches - hips : 90cm
pointure - shoes : 27cm / 42 EUR
cheveux - hair : black
yeux - eyes : brown

Profil Astrologique :
Personnellement je n'ai aucune croyance en l'astrologie et n'utilise jamais cet outil.
Mais pour ceux qui peuvent souhaiter s'appuyer sur l'astrologie pour analyser mon profil, voici mes informations astrologiques. Je suis né le 2 novembre 1975 entre 15h45 et 16h15 dans le département français du Puy-De-Dôme (63).
Mon signe astrologique est donc Scorpion (signe associé à l'eau), 2e décan, ascendant Bélier-Taureau.
Les positions des planètes à ma naissance étaient : Mercure en Balance, Vénus en Vierge, Mars en Cancer, Jupiter en Bélier, Saturne en Lion, Uranus en Scorpion, Neptune en Sagittaire, Pluton en Balance et la Lune en Balance (25°).

Pour information, voici les qualificatifs reconnus typiques du Scorpion -- ce qui ne veut pas dire que je reconnaisse qu'ils me qualifient :
 ardent, passionné, persévérant, résolu, subtil, imaginatif, capable de repartir à zéro, fascinant, plein de mystère, analytique, intuitif, plein de flair, combatif, dominateur, doué d'une grande puissance de travail, curieux des mystères, mystique, capable de juger juste, flegmatique, érotique, fécond, créatif, puissant, plein de sang-froid, protecteur, doué.
 jaloux, rancunier, obstiné, méfiant, secret, extrémiste, cruel, révolté, violent, entier dans ses choix, caustique, destructeur, sadique, hyperémotif, arrogant, tyrannique, brutal, cassant, obsédé, angoissé, démoniaque, agressif, possessif, maniaque, morbide.

Profil Religieux :
Je pourrais dire que je suis Athée ou Agnostique, mais je préfère dire "omni-doctrines", c'est-à-dire prendre le meilleur de chaque religion, et jeter le reste.

Profil "Celte" : signe du Noyer (la passion)
"Implacable, surprenant et plein de contrastes, souvent narcissique, peut démontrer de l’agressivité, est généreux, de vastes horizons s’ouvrent a lui, peut avoir des réactions inattendues, est spontané, fait preuve d’une ambition sans limite, aucune flexibilité, est un partenaire difficile et peu commun, n’est pas toujours aimé mais est souvent admiré, stratège hors pair, très jaloux et passionné, ne fait aucun compromis."

Profil Ayurveda : Vata, air/ether(espace)
"Très actif, mentalement rapide, imaginatif, activité mentale constante, foi inconstante, apprend vite mais oublie vite, aversion au froid, sommeil léger & instable, anxieux, excité, change facilement d'amitié, élocution rapide, appétit irrégulier, démarche rapide, humeur changeante, cheveux secs, corpulence fine, yeux petits bruns ou noirs, peau sèche, soif variable"

Dans les sites japonais, beaucoup de webmasters s'introduisent au travers d'un interview de 100 questions. Voici le mien, en anglais.

01. What is your name, birthdate and birth place?
Guillaume, 11/02/1975, Puy-de-dôme (France)

02. Blood type and Zodiac sign?
O+, Scorpio

03. What is your height, weight and shoe size?
171cm, 63kg, 42EUR

04. How many people are in your family?
No brother no sister

05. Tell us your strengths and weaknesses!
Strengths: efficient, creative, open-minded
Weaknesses: low hear memory (vs eye memory), self-centered

06. What's your motto?
"When there's a will there's a way"

07. What are your favorite words?
Effective & smooth

08. What kind of animal would you compare yourself to?
Dragonfly

09. What are your hobbies?
Martial arts and anything more or less linked to it

10. What kind of special talents or abilities do you have?
Good hand dexterity with pen, (butterfly) knives, ...

11. Please tell us what kind of computer you use, and what software you use a lot?
Dell notebook, no brand (Chinese) desktop. Adobe Photoshop, Macromedia Dreamweaver, UltraEdit, Trillian, KaZaA,...

12. About how many email pen-pals do you have?
~100 regular penpals!

13. What made you first start using the internet? Around when did you start?
1995, computer science school!

14. Tell us some fun things to do online.
Asking for a webcam strip-tease :-P

15. Also, tell us some things we should avoid at all costs!
Never meet someone who has no self-picture to share

16. What music have you been listening to lately? (artist or song name)
The latest songs I've been listening for hours are Men At Work - Down Under (old song) after having seen their videoclip on a cheap Chinese DVD, also Gigi D'Agostino - I'll Fly With You (old techno/dance hit), and David Guetta - Love don't let me go (recent dance song)

17. What are your favorite TV programs?
Now... the news on TV5... not very exciting I know :-(
I used to be a TV-phage, now no time anymore

18. What phrases do you say a lot?
"Exact", "Do you really think that (...) ?", "Please take off your pant"

19. What brand of cigarettes do you smoke, and about how many a day?
Never smoke, beurk :-(

20. Is there anything you won't/can't stop doing?
Cruising, charming, seducing, meeting, discovering, learning

21. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
Crèpes au sucre (French pan cakes with sugar) or Aligot (potato+cheese) =)

22. What are your favorite drinks?
Soft drink: American Cranberry Juice, American Ginger Ale
Alcoholic drinks: French Red Wine, Scottish Whisky, Italian Vino Bianco Frizzante

23. Pick your favorite food, and a food you hate, even though you've never tried it.
Food I prefer: Crèpes from French Britain
Food I hate: Salsify and anything that look/taste like that

24. What food are you best at cooking?
I can't cook... so let's say pasta

25. What's your favorite kind of flower?
White rose... I'm not a fan of flowers

26. Where do you buy most of your clothes?
I try to never buy clothes in the same place... so let's say Army surplus, no big brand places (like Muji), and used clothes shops.
For business shirts, Alain Figaret, and for business suits my last ones were Kenzo and Pierre Talamon.

27. What do you do with clothes that you regret having bought?
I just forget them

28. Has anyone ever given you a ring?
Fortunately not!

29. What brand/service is your cell phone? Also, what song do you use as the ringer?
Nokia 8210, China Telecom, 1-bip vibration ring (I hate telephones ringing, it is so unpolite)

30. What kind of skin care products do you use?
I seldom use

31. Recommend a kind of make-up to us!
I guess any French company stuff is OK ;-)

32. What's one kind of make-up you'd like to try out?
None

33. What color are your fingernails painted right now?
None (natural)

34. What kind of perfume do you like?
Kenzo for Men

35. What kind of shampoo, conditioner and other hair care products do you use?
No special brands

36. Please comment on men's make up.
Dunno

37. Think of your image of an ideal man (lover). OK, now tell us!
Both brilliant (for the mind) & into sports (for the body shape)

38. What do you think of guys who tuck polo shirts into their jeans?
It depends on their face

39. It's a bit out of the blue, but here's the Ultimate Choice Series! Would you choose a hot, but really poor guy, or an ugly, but rich one?
Hot+Poor!

40. What kinds of things do you think it's really sexy when guys do?
Crying

41. What kind of guy makes you think "He really pisses me off!"?
"Mr I Know Everything"

42. Would you rather your own son be macho, with bristly blonde chest hair, or a player with a bad fake-bake?
Don't think of having kids

43. What kind of fashion do you think is really uncool? (girl's or guy's)
For guys, short hair on the top, long hair behind
For girls, too long hair

44. Is there any woman you've thought was interesting recently? (an actress, a model, a friend, anyone) Why?
Michelle Yeoh, she looks nice, beautiful & effective

45. What kind of woman do you hate? Is it someone close to you?
"Mrs I Know Everything", no.

46. If you were a high school student, do you think you'd be a gyaru? (gyaru: blonde hair, dark tan skin, white make up, lots of jewelry, really loud and annoying) How extreme a gyaru would you be?
Definitely not

47. How long do you spend in the bath/shower? What do you wash first?
15 minutes, hair

48. Would you want to be a girl if you could be reborn?
No

49. You can become a star for one day. Who would you be? (like a celebrity) How would you spend your day?
For one day it does not interest me

50. At what times do you think you're glad you were born a girl?
When going to war maybe

51. On the other hand, when do you regret having been born a girl?
Every 28 days...

52. What parts of yourself make you think, 'I sure am cute!'?
Dunno

53. When have you thought, "I'm such a little devil"? Tell us about some of the devilish things you've done.
Top secret

54. If you could live your life over from any point, when would that be? Why?
No re-start it is always better & better!

55. Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship?
Yes!

56. Do you think love and marriage are separate?
Definitely, it is obvious. Sex, love, reproduction & mariage are 4 different things, but unfortunately there are so many (old) people who mix all that...

57. What would you do if you turned into a cat for a day?
Sleep... cats are the laziest things on earth

58. What would you do if you became invisible for a day?
So many things!!!

59. What TV shows do you wish they would put back on the air?
Not just a TV show, but a TV channel in France : "La 5"

60. Tell us about a dream you had recently that left an impression on you. Speaking of which, do you dream in color?
Recently I've not been dreaming at all (or I don't remember when waking up)... I used to dream in color yes

61. Shopping Pride! What's the most expensive thing you've ever bought in your whole life? How much was it?
Uh... dunno, i don't like to spend big sums

62. How long does it take you to get over a love? Also, if you know any way to cure a broken heart, tell us!
The first time it took 2 years, now it takes 2 days

63. When was the last time you cried? Why?
10 days ago because of an impossible love story and the consequences of this on another relationship

64. What is the one thing you're the most proud of that you've done?
Nothing, being proud of what I've done would mean that I'm looking backward

65. Please confess as much as you can about a bad thing you did.
No.

66. Next in the Ultimate Choice Series! Your boyfriend/girlfriend suddenly breaks up with you. Which of the following reasons for the breakup is worse? "I've fallen in love with your best friend" or "I've fallen in love with my best friend"?
The worse is of course the 1st one

67. What is something you want to buy right now, and have the money to buy?
Now I need nothing

68. It'd be cool to win a lot of money. What would you do if you won $3 million in the lottery?
Wow... I don't like to think of this because after it makes me sad.
I might invest in a company... my company

69. What magazines do you read? (manga too)
Any martial arts magazines from anywhere,
any knives magazines from anywhere, no manga

70. What books have you read recently? (manga too)
A book on the Golden Number

71. How many piercings do you have?
None

72. What would you reccomend to people trying to lose weight?
1st, the most important, check what you eat.
2nd, do sports & run regularly.
3rd, ask for a personal trainer help.

73. You caught your boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on you! What would you do?
A smile & a kiss =)

74. How many times a week do you have sex?
At least once or twice

75. How do you get rid of body hair?
Joker

76. Is there any hair growing on the top of your feet?
No

77. Do you love your current boyfriend/girlfriend?
The notion of love has so many aspects

78. Do you think you have a split personality?
Maybe

79. What color is most of your underwear?
Purple

80. Tell us a song that has a special memory for you.
Eternal Flame (The Bangles)... my first love

81. What do you carry in your purse?
A weapon...

82. What do you treasure most?
My independance

83. Do you believe in the existance of god(s)?
No... or yes but all of them, all together in an orgy

84. If God said, "I will grant you one wish!" What would you wish for?
I just told you that I don't believe in god... and if they are all together in an orgy they don't care of granting me a wish, they have other things to do, let them have fun!

85. What do you do to lift your spirits when you feel like nothing good is happening?
Good question. I turn on my computer and email my friends, or do a website, or work on one of the books I've started, ...

86. What blood type can you not stand? (have bad compatability with) Why?
O+ (my blood type) is a universal giver

87. What would you do if you met a person who was just like you?
I dunno, maybe I'd hate him

88. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Respected

89. When do you think of yourself as a genius?
Never

90. When was the last time you got pissed off?
When I've seen how the EU delegation reacted to the SARS situation in Beijing.
Both irresponsible & unprofessional.

91. What made you happy recently?
Love and meeting some many new people (in China)

92. What recent event have you not understood at all?
Irak war

93. Tell us about a time recently, when you looked stupid for having thought something wrong.
Me, thinking wrong? :-)))

94. Say something here that you've been wanting to tell someone! Anyone is OK, just say it!
Take off your pant

95. Do you think guys and girls can be friends?
Yes!

96. Please share the three most painful experiences of your life.
Mother's death, dirty Korean love story, and sleeping one night in the Moscow airport

97. If Doraemon said "I'll give you one thing from my pocket!" (<-read with Doraemon's voice), what would you ask for?
"I'll never put my hand in your pocket, you're not my type"

98. If the world was going to end in one week, what would you spend that week doing?
Sex

99. Write a haiku/limeric/poem.
Sorry I'm in a meeting now, I'll call you back later

100. It's the 100th question! Say one last thing! (if you can, you must be tired of answering these)
Having the opportunity to live in an environment where you can exchange with people from everywhere in the world is the best chance I've ever had in my life. Thank you the EU.

These answers have been written on April 23rd, 2003.